Volume 9 – #9 – September 2006

I guess it’s okay to be cruel. Six Flags Theme Parks have announced a new Halloween-geared promotion; unlimited line-jumping privileges to anyone who eats a live Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. From my twisted point of view, Six Flags is promoting killing as entertainment. And it’s amazing to me that anyone could see this any other way. They think it’s just business as usual; a cool/edgy advertising campaign to show the world how “hip” Six Flags is. And it gives the thrill-seeking attendee the chance to show, in a graphic way, how tough he/she is by biting, in half, a three-inch long, live, squirming “monster” and swallowing it. Hmmm. Who’s the monster here? Crazy Carl thinks this “hilarious,” publicly-condoned torture will probably be a pretty sad sight; sad for the roaches, who I’m sure aren’t showing up on their own, but sadder for us humans. We’re lowering the bar another notch. And don’t get me wrong. I know Halloween is all about gross, creepy things. It would be totally okay with me if, instead of eating a defenseless creature, one had to bob for apples in the porta-potties (at the end of the day) or drink the urine of a Six Flags employee with a bladder infection or cut off his/her own little finger with a colorful plastic Six Flags knife. At least all parties involved would be consenting. I’m glad I don’t work for Six Flags. I’d have to quit over this. Too bad. I loved going there when I was a kid (the original Six Flags Over Texas right between Dallas and Fort Worth), especially when it was a school bus trip with friends from my junior high in Texarkana. One time we went on a weekday and hardly anyone was there. It was easy to hop right back on rides. We ran wild and free! I think I was about twelve years old. I probably fell asleep on the 4-hour bus ride back to Texarkana and dreamt about not having to wait in line to ride the rides.

Speaking of thrills, summer was a blast. Thanks to all of you who came out to our shows. I hope you each tell 1000 people about our subversive sound and encourage them to check us out. Better yet, hypnotize them, suggesting that they respond only to polkas. Hey, that’s an idea; global polka conditioning. You do know, of course, that the polka movement is, in fact, gaining momentum. It’s not dying, as some would have you believe. And this is the most perfect time for polkas ever. The future looks precarious, at best. We’ve lost faith in so much (government, movie stars, religion, spinach). We’re jaded and bored with the same ol’ over-abundance. We have become the impossible: stressed-out zombies. But, you know what? This is also fertile polka ground; ready to grow like weeds and choke out addiction to irony. All we really have is right now. And polka is about right now, ready to soothe a desperate society. One minute it’s not there and then, “BAM,” it’s laughing right in your face. Don’t think about it, though. Just let it suck you in. Give up your worldly possessions! Abandon your evil thoughts and let go of your dreams. Sweep your ego into the corner. Nudge your kundalini. Don’t let another mass-produced concept rob you of even one more moment of “now.” Push the spoon away. As Bela Lugosi says in Ed Wood’s classic, GLEN OR GLENDA, “The story must be told. Pull the string.” And the bulls are released and Glen decides to wear his soft sweaters in public. Get it? I know you do. I know your inner soul and inner cell tissue both get it. Polka represents a rejection of the norm. It’s a bold step toward Nirvana, via accepting the premise that what we thought was up is actually down. Polka is anti-fear, which makes it dangerous to some people’s agenda. See the world as it really is and trust your gut.

And, speaking of polkas, Brave Combo is right in the middle of Oktoberfest Season. If you want to add a little Bavaria to your life, come on out. Check our itinerary for details about Oktoberfest events in Kansas City, Denton, St. Louis and Houston. Have you danced to our twist medley of “Ein Prosit” and “Hava Nagila?” Now’s your chance.

Well, there are three distinctly different directions we can go with the new album. Many, many fans at shows want a “live hits” collection, including the “Peter Gunn/Espionage” medley, “Louie, Louie (Cha Cha),” “Baile Salsa,” “Tsamikos,” “Sway” and “Honga.” A new polka album is also certainly in order. We have a slew of new polkas and waltzes, including “Holiday in Poland,” “Kiss Me, Sweetheart,” “Crazy Goose,” “Jukebox Cheer” and “Picnic Days Are Here Again.” But, it seems like it’s time for a classic “all over the map” BC CD. This could be anything. Shouldn’t we take this opportunity to move even closer to the edge? Have you heard our version of Charlie Rich’s intro to “Behind Closed Doors?” Or what about a totally mesmerizing 20-minute “Annoula.” There’s also some talk of recording our show with the Richardson Symphony in January and releasing it, as well. Is this just too much music? Would four albums in one year be too many? And what will fans do with these recordings? Will they buy CDs or download or insist on a return to vinyl? Should we also consider a new Christmas CD? Most of the seasonal stuff we play now isn’t on IT’S CHRISTMAS, MAN. Aaagh! I’m freaking out. It’s time to slow down my brain, take a deep breath and think about The Little Rascals for a while. There’s Spanky, patting Alfalfa on the back, while Buckwheat smiles in the foreground, as he’s dancing with Darla. Okay, they’re happy. I’m happy. Hey, you can turn off your brain, too. It’s okay. That “big problem” can wait, unless your house is being flooded or someone’s chasing you with a gun. Those kinds of problems you’ll have to deal with immediately. But as soon as you mop up the floor or six shots have been fired, you can relax, take that deep breath and zone out. Happy nothing, dear ones.