Volume 9 – #1 – January 2006

Whoopee! January is polka month! Have you noticed the only music you’re hearing on the radio these days is polka music? It’s amazing! They’re playing so much Lil’ Wally and Eddie Rodick around here, I’m almost sick of it. You know, the polka naysayers just aren’t looking hard enough. It’s a great time for polka music and things will get even better, especially now that just about every other style of music gets just as many laughs. Honestly, could rock, pop, country or any other mainstream musical idiom come off any dumber and/or embarrassingly contrived than it does now? So, any logical person can see that a major shift in attitude is due. As nature and society become more unstable, humans will return to the basics and retreat from the overbearing self-consciousness of pop culture. Polka serves two purposes: good music and freedom from pretense in an environment where the hip and unhip freely mix and mingle. Polka music, someday, could be one of the few things left that make life on Earth worth living. At the very least, if you crank polka music in your car while you run errands, they go more smoothly and quickly, unless you forget to watch what you’re doing and cause an accident. In that case, you’ll probably shy away from listening to anything while you drive for a while. Which will be good, too. Perhaps you should consider putting down your cell phone while you drive, as well.

Percussionist extraordinaire and nice fellow, Mike Dillon, and I continue to plod along on our album project. We whittle at it here and there once every three months or so and hope to have some tracks ready to offer for download by early 2012. By the way, isn’t 2012 the year the world ends, as we know it? That’s the buzz on crackly late night talk radio. Nostrodamus and Edgar Cayce seem to agree. So, what are your plans December 31, 2011? Make it really, really good.

Dave “Tito” Cameron, our original drummer, once wrote a song (and performed it with Brave Combo) called, “I Wish I Had the Head of a Duck and the Feet of a Mouse.” He also wrote, “I’m So Surprised These Donuts Are Here.”

Apparently, God is mad at several places around the world and now Texas is getting it. Winter hardly comes to see us anymore and every single county in the Lone Star State is suffering a drought. Why would God be mad at us? We supplied the world with the current president for Christ’s sake. Anyway, I came up with some drought jokes to help us all through this tough time.

Cop (to Hobo): Move on. Get out of here.
Hobo (brushing the dust off his hat): Hey, no problem, buddy. I have family in Seattle anyway.

Republican: Did you hear that Kinky Friedman, the crazy Jesus-quoting Jew is running for Governor of Texas as an independent?
Democrat: Uh-oh!
Republican: Uh-oh is right!
Democrat: Oh well, at least it will start raining again if he wins.

Question: What did one dry tongue say to the other dry tongue?
Answer: Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a big glass of saliva.

Did you hear the one about the Texas fireworks salesman on December 31, 2005?
That’s okay; no one else did, either.

Standup comic at a hotel bar, right off I35 in Denton on a Tuesday night: Water is so scarce in Denton, the local splish-splash park will be using imported cow urine instead this year. The park management said there was no need for concern. They plan to pour lots of vanilla extract into the urine to combat the odor. Plus, that will make it taste better than just urine alone, in the event that you swallow a little. An added bonus is that it will be okay for kids (or adults, for that matter) to relieve themselves anywhere, anytime. Although all of the grass and plants and trees around the splish-splash park have long since died (no water), the same companies that sell the imported cow urine also offer great prices on manure to cover the grounds so the loose dirt underneath doesn’t blow away. There will also be a Burger King/KFC combo snack bar on the premises.
Man in Audience: That’s disgusting! I just hate those combo fast food places! Like the Pizza Hut/Taco Bell. They’re gross! Boo! Boo!

I think those drought jokes that I made up are great. Let me know what you think.

Hey, are you aware that live music clubs and bars around the country are having a really difficult time these days? The age group that provided the audience for the venue boom of the 80s and early 90s are more settled now, usually with kids, and they simply don’t stay up and out as late as they once did. Many say they ache too much. Unfortunately, the entertainment options for the younger generation (who should be replenishing the supply) seem to be so plentiful and fragmented, only a small percentage have the time or desire to focus on live original music. Add to that the trend toward cleaning up clubs and bars, primarily through imposed smoking bans, and that doesn’t leave a lot of patrons who are self-destructive enough to keep places open and thriving. The legendary Club Dada, located right in the middle of Dallas’ once cool bohemian haven, Deep Ellum, was our home base in Texas for years. I hear it’s closing. We (Brave Combo) have been aware of this trend, especially since 9/11, and changed our booking strategy accordingly, turning more to festivals, dance halls, art centers, city concerts and special events. We now play clubs primarily to fill holes in the calendar and this really makes me sad. Certainly, things change and evolve into new things. We realize that this is inevitable and we’re very lucky to have performing options, but it’s still a drag. I like clubs best. They’re louder, darker, later, funkier and more of an illusion. That’s where you would go to experience the abnormal, with the sense that anything could happen; creepy in a good way. Oh well, it’s just a Hard Rock Café kinda world anymore; all organized and sanitized. That’s okay, I guess. At least they serve a decent veggie burger. Rock on!

Speaking of alternative venues and special events, it’s just a matter of days until Brave Combo takes the stage with the Arlington, Garland and Las Colinas Symphonies. Oh, these will be nights to remember. I guess we should all dress up a little, huh? We could go on line and see if any local high school bands are selling their old uniforms (we actually did that once). Alan can be the drum major. Do high school bands ever have black uniforms? We better start thinking about this. Check our itinerary page and come on down.

Shows are starting to pile up like crazy for 2006, which is good, because we need to work. Our itinerary page will be updating itself weekly, so keep a close eye on it. We’ll be playing more and more songs from HOLIDAYS! as the year creeps along and plan to do some new recording soon. Tim Walsh is still hovering around and will land on our stage honkin’ and tootin’ as often as possible. Unbelievably, this Brave Combo thing is still a blast for us and we certainly hope it is for you, as well. Also, check our site at www.myspace.com/bravecombo and become one of our treasured friends. You won’t regret it. Okay, turn off the lights and stare at the ceiling, even if you can’t see it with the lights off. Imagine that we’re all stuck on this big life raft, trying to adjust. And take off your high heels when you polka.